Are You a Fucking Loser?
All Relationships are Transactional and it is Time to Look in the Mirror
All relationships are transactional.
This phrase gets under people's skin. The emotions that are evoked via the connotations of the words chosen makes people feel like cheap commodities or that every good deed is to be reciprocated in kind.
This is just one of the issues of a feminized society. Men acting like fucking women; using language emotionally when it is best to be taken at face value. Another problem is that men have forgotten that they aren't women. Men are not loved for who they are— men are loved for what they can do. We'll come back to this in a minute.
Before I go any further it is imperative that you understand that all relationships are transactional and why understanding this is so essential.
With that said, let's clear a few things up.
A transaction by definition is an exchange or interaction between two or more people. This exchange does not need be defined by tangible goods or commodities. It can be, but it is not required. The transaction in a romantic relationship, whether for a night or a lifetime, is value in exchange for value.
What value is exchanged depends on the individuals involved.
People think the transactional nature of relationships requires a ledger to tally all good deeds done so that things are “fair”. This is a massive Covert Contract. It leads to score-keeping and inevitably resentment. Just because relationships are transactional does not mean they also need to be autistic.
How people react to the statement “all relationships are transactional” generally tells me more about the person than they realize. Every assumption of ill intent is projected outward. The man who leads with his wallet angrily reminds me that relationships are not prostitution and men who lack charisma love to tell me how much their company is worth. If you find youself wanting to debate this statement, think carefully about what you are about to say.
All relationships are transactional. This statement serves a very important purpose. It is a reminder that in order to receive value from another person you must provide value back in order for the relationship to continue.
On the deep philosophical level, even the brief relationship between a man charitably giving a starving homeless man a sandwich is an exchange of value. The homeless man got a meal and the charitable man derived whatever self-satisfaction, fulfillment, virtue, dopamine release or otherwise that incentivized him to act in the first place.
We are afterall, creatures that act on incentives (positive or negative).
Circling back to the plight of a feminized society, men, as Rian Stone would say, are being raised as defective women. With that comes the misconception that men have inherent value in being men— they do not. Eggs are expensive and sperm is cheap. Men have no value outside what they can accomplish and, if that is nothing, they are going to have a bitch of a time attracting the opposite sex.
Furthermore, the value that you bring to another person is ultimately theirs to decide. You cannot proclaim what your value is and expect others to accept or want it. If you are having a rough go with dating, your marriage or any other form of relationship, it is worthwhile to look in the mirror and ask yourself:
Are You a Fucking Loser?
This question is rather hyperbolic. Most men aren't “losers’, although some very much are. What this question is really asking is:
Do you bring enough value to other people to get the relationship that you want?
Now, let's not get autistic. No relationship is going to be perfect and without strife. But ideally, you bring enough value to a relationship that whatever value you are looking to receive is given. What that value is completely depends on you and if you are not getting it, it is wise to self-reflect.
It is worth to note that getting laid and maintaining a long term relationship are two completely different skill sets. They have a lot of overlap, but they are different.
As I previously mentioned, you cannot direct what your value is to another person— that is for the other person to decide. Sometimes the expectations are clear (like in a position of employment), but many times, especially in romantic relationships, they are not. Luckily, all men are inherently problem solvers and half-autistic retards, so we've managed to figure out quite a bit when it comes to what women find attractive and valuable.
I have my own take on female attraction which I discussed with Jack Napier on Troofcast 164. This will give a solid high-level overview of what women in general may be looking for in a mate (short or long-term).
Whether you are struggling to get laid, your marriage has gone to shit, or you go through new girls like pairs of socks unable to have one stick around, it does not serve you to completely blame your circumstance on external factors. While there are many things outside your control that may factor into your current position, you cannot control what you cannot control, so taking agency in what you can control is really the only option you have.
What you do control is the value you can bring to other people.
Like I said before, within the nuance of an individual relationship, you cannot control what another person values. However, when pulled out to the macro scale, men have figured out what women value enough, that we aren't going into this blind.
This post isn't a “how to” guide for getting laid or having a successful relationship. This post is to remind every man that all relationships are transactional and if you aren't getting yours, to look in the mirror and figure out if you are providing the value required to get what you want— to ask:
“Are you a fucking loser”?
Kudos to OldManFlappyNuts who posted this link in my comments. It is a great supplement to this post. To watch click here.
Brutal.
Answer is yes