13 Comments
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David Abbott's avatar

How exactly is exchange of value to occur without contracts? I can understand making contracts explicit, “eg I’m happy to work my but off for a hot woman like you” but I think any attempt to eliminate contracts would impede the exchange of value.

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Stripper's avatar

That's a loaded question.

Simple answer: Boundary enforcement and be worth a shit.

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David Abbott's avatar

boundary enforcement can be tacit or explicit. are you arguing for explicit contracts and explicit boundary enforcement. i’m a big fan of both, but many women seem to prefer tacit boundaries, perhaps because they have greater emotional intelligence and are better at manipulating vague norms than explicit guarantees

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Stripper's avatar

Why would you act like a chick and beat around the bush? Some things are understood, like if you go exclusive don't fuck other people, but for the most part tell a girl what you will and won't tolerate. They aren't mind readers.

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David Abbott's avatar

i get the appeal of that, but what if many women prefer implicit communication and view explicit communication as low status?

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Stripper's avatar

This is boundaries. This isn't sexual innuendo, teasing, etc.

There is a subtext of nice guy shit going on in your questions.

What is low status? Are you talking about unattractive behaviors?

I suggest listening to Troofcast 164 with Jack Napier on YouTube.

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JustAnOgre's avatar

I don't know whether what I am saying is blinkingly obvious, but covert contracts used to be overt contracts: marriages in a society that used to shame divorce. So the reality was the wedding wov really did promise a number of things. Everything else is a legacy from there.

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Stripper's avatar

You can have both. Covert Contracts are just that. Unspoken expectations gone unfulfilled.

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Validation Junkie's avatar

Hey dude, buddy just got zeroed out by his old lady. What book should I suggest to him for starters? He’s open to reading red pill material but doesn’t really know what that means.

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Stripper's avatar

Check your DM

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Tara's avatar

Right. I’m speaking as someone who has been blind-sighted many times myself and had my own covert contracts burst. So now I’m on the other side of it (the burster) and learning to have compassion for myself as a burster being blamed for destroying other people’s hopes. Being villainized. It sucks. Forgiving myself for not being perfect, while also feeling the intensity of others’ gaslighting me due to their expectations of something we never had a firm agreement on.

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Tara's avatar

Thank you for this advice. I agree 💯 with it…I feel it’s in the collective now and we’re all learning how to form agreements properly. It’s quite intense to see people’s reactions when you burst their covert contract bubble.

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Stripper's avatar

Eliminating Covert Contracts is a never ending process. To think otherwise is to ignore our nature. Like most concepts in the self-help space people will tale this to the extreme and start pointing out Covert Contracts in others. It's not for other, but for yourself and I hope that came through in my writing.

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